Self Known

Imma jump right in because there’s only so much I can say about how cold I am right now... My good ol’ pal, Mackenzie ( Think. Eat. Write. Read. ) and I are writing a series together. We have book one’s first draft finished, and after a month’s break we are going back through and rereading it. And man, is it stressful. If I could describe this first draft - or any first draft, for that matter - as anything, it would be a pair of well-loved jeans. There are holes, frayed edges and even though you love how they fit, they’re on their last leg (HAH) and it’s almost time for an upgrade. In enters Stress and Overwhelm. Welcome to the party! I have written several first drafts, but never have I gone about actually editing them. It’shard. It’s scary. Sometimes I HATE it. But it’s something I need to learn. I keep saying take it one step at a time, take your time, this will work out, but friend, it’s still icky. Saying it will get better doesn’t make the hard work of buildin...

This is an email I shared with my creative newsletter friends. + + + I’m stuck with two paragraphs of bleh and it’s already nine in the morning. Not a strong day so far. I think I’m blocked because I’m afraid. Afraid of disappointing or messing up. Afraid to put something out there and get crickets in response. This is just one of my many creative fears. Another is numbers. How many pairs of eyes I have looking at what I produce. For a while now I’ve avoided looking at the numbers that express the extent of my reach across the Internet. It is because I can’t help but compare. I can’t help but think they should be triple their size. Then there are the opinions. Whether it be my own -- “I can do better” -- or someone else echoing disagreement. Because of my personality, sometimes I can get myself to see both sides of the argument. I understand why she is enraged and he is disappointed. I see and feel for so many. Pause. Breathe. Go at it again. Now that the fear...