Self Known

Many months ago I fell in love with this song. And like anyone who has fallen in love, it's stuck with me -- to the point where I can now play it with my eyes closed. I think I love it so much because the lyrics go like: "You can, you can do anything, anything You can do anything" Over and over. In these past few months, I've needed those power phrases on repeat. Thank you, dear music, for being the inspirational piece to get me back into taking piano lessons. Thank you for inspiring me to learn other pieces (and yet always return to you). It scares me to share this with you because it is imperfect, our piano needs tuned, it's not visually stimulating, or even a good quality soundtrack. But I think I would be doing myself an injustice if I didn't. Besides, everyone has to start somewhere. Enjoy.

We have a big library downtown near the community college. It's a bit shady when you visit because you'll have to squeeze down an alleyway if you want to park in the parking garage for easy access. You can almost tell on the way in what it's going to look like because the accents against the concrete floor are bright colors -- sharp lime and sky blue. You ride the elevator one floor up, completely oblivious and honestly, not ready for the doors to open. Everything is white. You see peeks of marble around the corner, and the eye candy of empty space lures you in, allowing the elevator to close after you with a ding. An invisible cable from the center of the building winds around your waist, pulling you in. Around the corner, the building explodes, and it's no longer just white and marble, but beautiful stone, pillars, and wooden hand railings. Above there are decorative balls that look they're metal feathers silently welded to one another. Security asks how y...

Hey friend. Today I wanted to talk about something I have been combatting for a couple of years now. Social anxiety. Now, this is something that is very serious to me, and I would never want to overexaggerate things or blow them out of proportion. This is not something I am writing for sympathy or for anyone to feel sorry for me. This is simply a post about what the world looks like from my perspective. I know when I read blog posts or watch videos that detail what other people are dealing with it makes me feel closer to them. It helps me understand why they do what they do and what colors their world is painted in. And it is always nice to know you are not alone. That is why I am taking the time to write about this today. When did you realize you were socially anxious? It actually wasn't me. It was my mom. Back when I was dancing (2011), I got good enough to be moved up a level -- a level above all of my friends. This caused a very stirring conflict in me beca...

I have a condition. It's been going on for quite a while now. Months, maybe even years. Every time I sit down to write a blog post, a weight settles in around me. My head gets fuzzy. My fingers slam on the keys and I produce pure inconsistent words that stay mushy, even after rounds of editing. Everything seems like it's set on fast forward when I write, and so all these good post ideas I have never get published because they lack the quality I wish to produce. There are the rare moments when the muse strikes and the floodgates open. My heart pours out and a piece of myself is written in a way that leaves me with a feeling much too close to pride. But a majority of the time I struggle. I really want to break this cycle. So from now on, instead of MOVING REALLY FAST AND PRODUCING ALL OF THESE  W O R D S . . . I want to slow down. And. Breathe a little. Take the time to form thoughts. Develop thoughts. Polish thoughts. We live in a fast-paced world, my friend. ...