Never felt so fake.

[photo via pinterest]

I scurry down the hall, careful to keep myself from falling onto my face in these ridiculous shoes. Hah. Head over heels. Who knew the expression could be literal?

I look up around the massive house I now call a home, trying a random door, and finding a closet. Nope. I open another door. A bathroom. I walk to the end of the hall and spy a set of closed double doors, with light, white curtains hanging in front of them. I step up and look down at the knobs, slowly twisting them and pushing the doors open. I'm greeted by an open and welcoming balcony. Ah, this is just what I need.

I step out onto the terrace, looking around and deeply inhaling. But a breath of fresh air never felt so fake. It's relieving but still not the same.

"I can't do this anymore." I tell myself. I can't live these lies and pretend to be so...false. It's not me. It never was and I don't know how I thought I could change myself into something I'm not.

"There you are! Where were you?" I jump, turning toward his voice. He rushes up to me, searching my face, reaching his hand out to brush his fingers down my cheek. "Is something wrong?" His tone softens with every word and have to look away, trying not to let out the choked sobs that begin to form in the back of my throat.

He waits a moment, before whispering, "You don't like it here."

I immediately nod my head, still not able to look at him. His gentle fingers find my chin and turn my head. Our gazes lock, and my eyes spill out what I feel.

"You're leaving me." He breathes, still studying what my eyes say.

"I...I have to."

"Why? I thought you were happy and content here." He rips his gaze away, turning and pacing across the terrace.

"I-I can't turn myself into something I'm not."

"And that is?"

I look out, studying the landscape that stretches out into the horizon. I look up at the sun, studying the cloudless sky. Everything here is beautiful. Elegant, even. But it's not something I want. If I stay I'll turn into a piece of priceless jewelry that one would only wear on the grandest of occasions. I can't be locked away from the world like that. Not when my original goal was to explore it.

"A fraud." I tell him.

thanks for reading. <3

xx Nicole Rose

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