Did you know that she probably won't come back for a long, long time?
Did you know that I thought she was going to come back--I waited for her, for the whole month of June, and even now--but now she probably won't?
Did you know we were supposed to see The Fault In Our Stars movie together, and that didn't happen either?
Did you know I am sad because of these happenings?
Did you know it's been very hard for me to move on?
I am being tested.
Every day, there is something I must overcome. Little by little I am conquering these things, straightening my shoulders and holding my chin high. God has chosen this time of absence and loss to open me up to things I didn't know existed--things I didn't know I wanted.
I am discovering myself, like one would discover the whole-embodied inner earth. I'm peeling back the layers and minerals of what makes me, me, and I am discovering this core of purely imaginative curiosity and creativity.
Did you know I needed this disconnection, that led to self-discovery?
Neither did I.
+ + +
I am being tested.
Every day, there is something I must overcome. Little by little I am conquering these things, straightening my shoulders and holding my chin high. God has chosen this time of absence and loss to open me up to things I didn't know existed--things I didn't know I wanted.
I am discovering myself, like one would discover the whole-embodied inner earth. I'm peeling back the layers and minerals of what makes me, me, and I am discovering this core of purely imaginative curiosity and creativity.
Did you know I needed this disconnection, that led to self-discovery?
Neither did I.
Nuuu! :O
ReplyDeleteI know you'll get over this obstacle even if it doesn't seem like it right now, don't worry.
Thank you, Jenny. Reading your comment was very uplifting to me. :)
DeleteIs Mackenzie okay? I hope she's okay <3 I'm here for you Rose. You'll get through this!
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Bethan
Yes, she is okay. I recently received a handwritten letter from her, saying that she is well and breathing (fun fact: her handwriting is awesome and very, very neat).
DeleteThank you, I very much appreciate that, Bethan. <3 :)
I'm so glad she's okay!
DeleteThanks for letting me know - I was so worried (still am, really)
<3
Are you okay? Not being able to really connect with our best friends stinks; except for blogging, I don't have any contact with them, and even then they don't blog. :( I hope you get through this rough time, Rose. We're all here for you!
ReplyDeletexoxo, Morning
Who's Mackenzie?? Is she alright?
ReplyDeleteOh, Rose. I hope you get to see Mackenzie soon. I plan to watch The Fault In Our Stars with my older sister, and I know I would be so upset if something happened to stop that happening.
ReplyDeleteBut, I can tell you that I can relate. I do know how it feels to find the inner you, and to find how creative you can be, in your own way...to find yourself.
Beautiful post, the way you write is beau, vous êtes doué. (excuse the French, I've been learning a new language)
Tane
xoxo
Be strong, Rose. I'll be thinking about you. :)
ReplyDeleteGoodness, I had noticed she and Neeli were no longer getting my messages, but I had no idea they weren't coming back. (I don't know what's going on, but if it's your place to tell, could you explain it to me? Over email, or tumblr, or whatever is best. If you can't, I understand.)
ReplyDeleteDid you know that my heart goes out to you?
ReplyDeleteDid you know that you are ever in my prayers?
Did you know I deeply hope to be there for you constantly, through words or sweet music of the spirit?
I'm sure you know we're on your side, we're hurrah-ing you on, we're in this with you. Yes, darling, we're here.
May the Lord bless you!
- your les
PS. Oh, how I miss our Kepic Kenzie with an aching, aching pain...
I'm glad she is okay! I've been thinking about her and Lila lately. Horrible life stuff happened to me when I couldn't blog for a long time, and I was hoping that nothing like that happened to them.
ReplyDeleteSometimes self-discovery is hard, but, and this is so cliche, it makes our self. So many things happen to us that makes us who we are. I don't know you in person but I know you through the internet and I believe you and your self are absolutely beautiful. God shows us amazing things through our pain. <3
I'll be praying for you, lovely. :)