Valued Where We Stand

I was up late one night, scrolling through my Instagram feed and telling myself to get some sleep. But once I've gotten a taste of the world and all it has to offer, it's hard to turn my brain off.

I thought about the college girls get together I was going to go to. What I was going to share - should I be deep and personal? Or is it not worth the pain? What if I cry? - and what I was going to say. I mean, what if I told them about my favorite book and how it strikes me where all the favorite books do (in the heart) because the guy chooses the gal first and things aren't always perfect between the couple but they love.

And she.

She is always his first choice.

And then I cried because there is so much talent out there, the world is so big, and I want to play my part - a whole, independent part - but there is this hungry, fleshy part of me that ~~cries~~ ~~longs~~ desires companionship.

To be valued enough to be someone's first choice.

Not romantically. But purely. To have someone meet my eyes and smile in a way that lets me know they take joy in seeing me.

These thoughts are tricky, muddy trenches.

I tend to end up slopping through the trenches because I lose sight of important things. Like the sunshine and how I do love myself - crazy as it seems. I am enough, yet I forget.

So when that rope comes down and the search light sears my eyes--

What is that?

What pulls me free?

Not self.

Not man.

But God.

It says, in Titus 3, verses 3 through 5: "At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit..."

We are valued where we stand. Or fall. Or flail or weep or cry out with joy. The point is, God cares and does not cast His gaze away.

No matter how softly we cry.

Friend, it's okay to feel empty. It's okay to feel as though you lack belief. Or just feel as though you lack. If only we could wrap our heads around the fact that one moment doesn't have to define everything. One desire doesn't have to be a searing pain in your side for the rest of your days. One disappointment doesn't have to lead to constant failure.

We are enough.

We are valued.

We are human. We bounce back, rebuild, and use phrases until they become cliches. Because. We. Are. Stubborn!

Life is not a bright and shining gold-paved street. It is a walk through paper cuts and hand sanitizer rain.

Bind your wounds:

Now let's win.

The Best Experience in the History of Experiences

Last week, on September 13th, 2013, two amazing things happened. Niall Horan--of One Direction--turned 20! *sends glittery kisses into the wind* I didn't forget you, baby! I promise! I met up with the most amazing person that has ever come into existence . ^^^ *sniffles* Here is a photo of our good-bye hug. Kenz added the glitter. ;) My family and I had to drive about three and half hours, to get to our meeting place--which was a beautiful Barnes and Noble full of amazingly exquisite books [it was quite heavenly]. The whole trip there I was bubbling with excitement. Rocking in my seat, tugging at my hair, belting out the lyrics to any songs I knew when they blasted out of the speakers. I had a little brother to my left, a window to my right and a present in my lap--and a stuffed Pikachu at my feet. o.O Finally , we arrived at our destination. I cannot describe to you the feeling of walking up to that bookstore, and having a someone whom you haven't p...

silver linings

a post inspired by this lovely photo. [ photo via pinterest ] sitting swinging singing head bowed arms hanging voice low thinking blinking shrinking gears turning eyes wide shoulders slumped where did it all go? * * * She doesn't want to look up, only for her eyes to find the dark and terrible surroundings she calls her world. She doesn't want to go back, to the dwelling where words were spoken and exchanged but never taken back. She doesn't want to sit there forever. But that seems like the best option right now. While she swings, she listens and thinks, sings and sinks, the only company she has is the rag doll under her fingertips. It looks worn--just like her. And torn--again, like her. And used--just. like. her. Yet loved--a foreign feeling that has been wasted. She lifts her head to look up at the dark sky, wishing the clouds would split apart and act merciless upon her. Instead, they seem as if to slowly zip open, lightl...

"it's complete"

[ photo via pinterest ] writing. exhaling words onto paper inhaling the smell of ink scribbling furiously shoulders tensing the pencil stops dead in its tracks words are hard writing ceases days pass by no words are exhaled no ink is inhaled the author is taking a break dreams occur inspiration is sparked writing begins again and it doesn't stop "it's complete" two words that mean so much sentences build paragraphs that build chapters that build a book that build a lesson, a story my lesson to you is || don't ever give up thanks for reading. <3 xoxo, Rose pinterest instagram bloglovin

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